Wow, what a pre-marital rumspringa this was!!! I feel like the line "zombified wenches in polyester mini-skirts" was written for my amusement alone haha!
This was such a beautiful, wrenching article. I pray that your father will discover his soul and find peace. I am soo grateful for who you are, though, and I'm certain beyond a doubt that you will be the best possible father ever to our children!!
"Closure" is one of those therapeutickey words that feel like a scratchy new sweater, uncomfortable, too hot --but now you know, and knowing for sure what isn't there for you, you can move forward, better.
Revolutions often run roughshod over Chesterton's fences, and the survivors have to build new ones. God bless you and your lovely bride as you build a good life together.
This is perhaps not the right reaction to such a personal essay, but I just have to say that I am a compulsive reader of all kinds of literature since childhood and more recently a Substack addict and have very high standards and WOW HOLY SHIT this is an absolutely tremendous piece of writing. You do sometimes have an issue with overwriting - excessive length or descriptive overenthusiasm - but here your voice feels disciplined just enough by the gravity of events and emotion. Words are cheap in the age of the internet but this essay carries so much weight.
Two quick questions/observations.
First, have you ever read Thomas Wolfe? I’m rereading Look Homeward Angel and something about you reminds me of a very 21st century (hence, very different but somehow reminiscent) version of him.
Second, for some reason reading this essay your brief description of your grandmother and her house in Rome, New York kept coming to mind. I’m not sure why except that person and setting seemed so diametrically and completely and profoundly opposite from your father in every way that it was astounding that they could be part of the same life and same country. Perhaps related to your juxtaposition of east and west. Anyway not sure what I’m saying here but noting it.
I agree. Words became cheap in the age of word processing software. This piece of prose is the best I've read in recent memory, generally (not just of A.M.'s). My leisure reading typically comprises book-length non-fiction, the denser the quicker to sleep. I read this piece over two sittings. It crescendos and cuts.
Our Lady of Sorrows and dear St. Joseph comfort you and be your models in your new life with Keturah! May everything good and true and beautiful be yours!
In a short and breathtakingly honest tale, I think you have explained, better than anything I have ever read, just how the world we now live in has become the clusterfuck clownshow (pun intended) that it clearly is.
Thank you and God bless you and your fiancee in your journey through life. Have more children than you can possibly manage, nothing will bring you greater joy.
A tragic story of a tragic man. People do things not because of who you are but because of who they are. We can only learn from them and vow to do better. Give your child a better compass and thank your father for the lesson.
Dear Andy, I keep thinking about this story since I read it 3 days ago. I want to believe with George MacDonald this:
"What Cannot Be Loved
But how can we love a man or a woman who is mean, unlovely, carping, uncertain, self-righteous, self-seeking, and self-admiring? -- who can even sneer, the most inhuman of human faults, far worse in its essence than mere murder? These things cannot be loved. The best man hates them most; the worst man cannot love them. But are these the man? Lies there not within the man and the woman a divine element of brotherhood, of sisterhood, a something lovely and lovable -- slowly fading, it may be -- dying away under the fierce heat of vile passions, or the yet more fearful cold of sepulchral selfishness, but there? It is the very presence of this fading humanity that makes it possible for us to hate. If it were an animal only, and not a man or a woman, that did us hurt, we should not hate: we should only kill." (extract 50 from George MacDonald: An Anthology edited by CS Lewis)
Courageous journey into the heart of darkness, and a fitting criticism of the “sexual revolution,” our civilization’s historic folly that few want to recognize for the poison it has been to the nation and its children.
One correction: you are no bastard, my friend, you are an adopted son and heir of the King.
Wow, what a pre-marital rumspringa this was!!! I feel like the line "zombified wenches in polyester mini-skirts" was written for my amusement alone haha!
This was such a beautiful, wrenching article. I pray that your father will discover his soul and find peace. I am soo grateful for who you are, though, and I'm certain beyond a doubt that you will be the best possible father ever to our children!!
Congratulations to you and your wife on your wedding! God bless!
"Closure" is one of those therapeutickey words that feel like a scratchy new sweater, uncomfortable, too hot --but now you know, and knowing for sure what isn't there for you, you can move forward, better.
Revolutions often run roughshod over Chesterton's fences, and the survivors have to build new ones. God bless you and your lovely bride as you build a good life together.
Happy birthday from a couple of miles north of the place where you were baptized. God bless you and your beautiful wife.
This is perhaps not the right reaction to such a personal essay, but I just have to say that I am a compulsive reader of all kinds of literature since childhood and more recently a Substack addict and have very high standards and WOW HOLY SHIT this is an absolutely tremendous piece of writing. You do sometimes have an issue with overwriting - excessive length or descriptive overenthusiasm - but here your voice feels disciplined just enough by the gravity of events and emotion. Words are cheap in the age of the internet but this essay carries so much weight.
Two quick questions/observations.
First, have you ever read Thomas Wolfe? I’m rereading Look Homeward Angel and something about you reminds me of a very 21st century (hence, very different but somehow reminiscent) version of him.
Second, for some reason reading this essay your brief description of your grandmother and her house in Rome, New York kept coming to mind. I’m not sure why except that person and setting seemed so diametrically and completely and profoundly opposite from your father in every way that it was astounding that they could be part of the same life and same country. Perhaps related to your juxtaposition of east and west. Anyway not sure what I’m saying here but noting it.
I agree. Words became cheap in the age of word processing software. This piece of prose is the best I've read in recent memory, generally (not just of A.M.'s). My leisure reading typically comprises book-length non-fiction, the denser the quicker to sleep. I read this piece over two sittings. It crescendos and cuts.
Stinger of a story. A story I can’t relate to made all to real. All the best moving forward
Our Lady of Sorrows and dear St. Joseph comfort you and be your models in your new life with Keturah! May everything good and true and beautiful be yours!
In a short and breathtakingly honest tale, I think you have explained, better than anything I have ever read, just how the world we now live in has become the clusterfuck clownshow (pun intended) that it clearly is.
Thank you and God bless you and your fiancee in your journey through life. Have more children than you can possibly manage, nothing will bring you greater joy.
Beautiful and brave
A tragic story of a tragic man. People do things not because of who you are but because of who they are. We can only learn from them and vow to do better. Give your child a better compass and thank your father for the lesson.
Looking forward to seeing you and Keturah very soon, Andy.
I have quite a bit to say about this, but it shall be done, in person, after the Big Day.
Dear Andy, I keep thinking about this story since I read it 3 days ago. I want to believe with George MacDonald this:
"What Cannot Be Loved
But how can we love a man or a woman who is mean, unlovely, carping, uncertain, self-righteous, self-seeking, and self-admiring? -- who can even sneer, the most inhuman of human faults, far worse in its essence than mere murder? These things cannot be loved. The best man hates them most; the worst man cannot love them. But are these the man? Lies there not within the man and the woman a divine element of brotherhood, of sisterhood, a something lovely and lovable -- slowly fading, it may be -- dying away under the fierce heat of vile passions, or the yet more fearful cold of sepulchral selfishness, but there? It is the very presence of this fading humanity that makes it possible for us to hate. If it were an animal only, and not a man or a woman, that did us hurt, we should not hate: we should only kill." (extract 50 from George MacDonald: An Anthology edited by CS Lewis)
Clara McLardy
Courageous journey into the heart of darkness, and a fitting criticism of the “sexual revolution,” our civilization’s historic folly that few want to recognize for the poison it has been to the nation and its children.
One correction: you are no bastard, my friend, you are an adopted son and heir of the King.
Your account probably has more of the true history of this country in it than most ‘manifest destiny’ fairytales could hope to include.
Facts. Couldn't have told the West better.
I read this to my wife. She balled her eyes out.
Similar history / carney parent west coast life.
Sending you the light brother.
You always have us. Your substack family :)
May the peace of the Lord be with you.