I am a brand new reader here and your words and ethos are resonating well. I am amused by your devoted and concerned readers regarding birthing on the road. You didn’t ask for my advice, but here I go. ;)
Humans have been procreating for a few years now, and babies happen to join along wherever their parents go. Instincts kick in pretty solid when you don’t live in fear. Women don’t need midwives or doctors unless they want one - a father is pretty nice to help out. But, man, a baby will find it’s way out on its own terms if you let it. You seem to have a solid, thinking head on your shoulders and perhaps quite a few friends who would love to give you a room at their inn, if needed. I look forward to your project. I find countercultural thinkers refreshing.
By the way, before someone assumes I’m a flake going on about *dangerous* freebirthing…I have land, a steady income, a mortgage, and health insurance. But my more-than-a-handful of kids and I are most content on road trips, in tents, and foraging our food and medicine. Go for it, Hickman.
Hickmans mom here! I have total faith in my son and his wife to be responsible without compromising their dreams or values. They are remarkable people on a bold, audacious adventure! I’m consistently impressed with my son’s talent and vision which is why I’m also a foundational member. I can’t wait for a grandchild and I’m sure that they will be tremendous parents making all the necessary accommodations.
I upgraded to a paid subscription after reading this because I love your writing and value your work. So, I come as a friend and respectfully, not trying to discourage or overstep boundaries here. I understand your wife is pregnant. When I was pregnant with my first child, I was very brave and confident, and had read a lot of books about birth and newborn care, but I really had no idea of the reality of it (or actually had forgotten, but that’s a longer story). I believed for instance that everyone can breastfeed and produce milk in sufficient amounts - this is absolutely not true, many babies need formula or another woman besides their mom to nurse them, or they will die, and this problem often has to be figured out and addressed within a matter of hours. Home birthing can be beautiful but it should be done with the help of midwives and within short driving distance of an emergency room in case something goes wrong. It might sound romantic now but you do not actually want your wife to have to give birth on a greyhound bus, and she will not want to spend her postpartum weeks in a tent for that matter. Even if roughing it really is fine for you guys, remember that newborns are not tough, it is not safe for them to sleep in an irrigation ditch, and it is your job (for an honestly very brief, but intense time) to conform your lives to their needs, not the other way around. It sounds from this piece like you are expecting to have your baby on the road, and then just keep on going. That sounds completely bananas to me now, but I can see how I would’ve imagined that was doable before I had kids too. I strongly urge you to consider planning a (minimum) 6-8 break in your travel plans, where you stay in one place, sleeping indoors, ideally near people who can help you, to have your baby. (I’m sorry if I misunderstood you, and again, I apologize if this is overstepping.) I wish you the best of luck on your journey!
This times 10, except it takes more than 6-8 weeks. You do not want to screw around with the last few months of pregnancy and honestly the first 6-12 months of the baby’s life. A child and mother have to take priority over the starry-eyed dreams of the father, who will have many years to pursue those dreams when the kids are older. I honestly found this piece rather disturbing from that perspective
I know kids are easy to carry at that age, but that couple got lucky. The first six months is a fragile part of human life. Mortality rates for infants in their first year are higher than any other age category outside the elderly. There’s a reason why infant mortality is sky high in traditional societies.
Hello - this is the author's wife chiming in! Whatever we do concerning birth and our children is mostly going to be in accordance with my wishes. Not only am I the oldest of twelve children, I was a nanny for a few years and a companion to several friends who had all sorts of struggles from infertility to nursing difficulty and all sorts of birth stories. I'm not one of those romantics whose read a lot of birth books - I haven't read any - but who has had a lot of real life experiences that has shaped my desires and prerogatives. I understand that everything doesn't always go as planned - so we have no plans. We are simply open to life and whatever it bring, hoping and believing the best. I think this is the sort of mentality that allows couples to be lucky, as the couple in Australia was. Nevertheless, my husband is very considerate and will do as I ask him. If I say weeks before I give birth that I need to rest for awhile, he will make sure we do. If I need 6-8 weeks off after birth then we will take it. But I also know myself and my family history well. I am very much like my grandmother in all respects and suspect my birthing experiences will be similar to hers - she was the wife of a traveling evangelical preacher, and always back and on her feet within days BECAUSE she WANTED to be. She even had twins on their bus, and they didn't know there would be twins until my Grampa caught the first baby and shouted, "There's another one!!". Right now we are dreamers, but we are not naive and young.
I admire you for the strength of your convictions. I spent many years backing down when confronted by strongly opinionated dissenters. Godspeed to the family!
From what I have learned over the last 4 years, infant mortality is caused by vaccines, that is why I said, it's important to keep away from doctors and nurses.
My 9 month old nephew died the day after his routine vaccines. They never did find the cause even with a full autopsy.
I was raised in the west, and the high priest of modernity have pounded into my head how wonderful our industrial revolution is. Modern medicine being the pinnacle of all achievements, but I am losing the faith.
I’d love to jump in and add that the more children I have, the more I realize all baby needs is a good sling and mother’s milk. Rock on with your good selves and your highly independent way of thinking!
Yeah same. Benefit of the doubt, I think they just don’t know what they don’t know yet. But yes, if you’re going to be parents, your life is not just about you anymore.
OK Hickman- it was the thought of your no-dental help that did it...as a newly paid up supporter I urge you to consider a real estate side venture. On your travels identify towns that are remote, cheap and yet liveable and crime-low. These would be ideal seed sites for remote computer based workers with families etc. they could band together for education, and seed a revival of that town without the need to commute. You team up with a real estate devleoper, renovator to publicise and sell these starter homes in these identifed new places. (Summer of Hate by Chris Kraus is a fictional example of someone who did this). Everyone wins.
Yessssss!!! This! From Alaska myself. Living in western New York... I would support this objective on principle alone. I'm writing too, and will be sharing this with everyone! I will help with the education community buzz.
You have a truly worthy project ahead of you and I wish you and your lovely new wife all the best in gathering additional paid subscribers. I will add you to my "Recommendations" list and hope that will send a few extra people along your way.
One suggestion that you might want to consider is to offer a collection of your past archived (and paywalled) essays as a printed book. This can be done quite easily via KDP publishing and no cost to you apart from your time spent formatting (alas it is Amazon but can be done by anyone and is "print as you go"). You can set the price for this book and proceeds go to you directly, rather than leaving 90% with a publisher. I know that many of your readers would appreciate a hard copy of your work. Just a thought....
I think the first of these options sounds like it would be a great read. I would not, however, wish the writing of it on anyone about to begin raising a family! So Founding Membership it is, and I will spread the word. Blessings to you both.
Paul -- thank you so much for your continued support. I cannot understate what you've done for me in the past year. Blessings to you and the family; we're so looking forward to crossing paths again soon enough.
I’m a paid subscriber and as such I feel empowered to tell you to get off the road and tend to your obligations as new parents for the sake of your child. The places you seek will be available to you, and unchanged, in the relatively short amount of time it will take for the baby to become road ready. You will likely reopen your odyssey the better for lack of wear and full of the unmatched perspective that
Daniel, we are not expecting yet, so don't be worried.
Have faith in our ability to discern what is right -- we've made it this far! It's a bridge we'll cross when it comes, and you can trust that we will not do wrong by our newborn child. My wife's family had many children on the road, and as such my wife says it's not out of the question to do the same. We'll see how it goes -- I'll trust my wife's judgement on what to do.
I've been pregnant five times and have three living children.
If your wife does get pregnant, please be open to stopping this project for awhile and settling for a bit. Pregnancy can be easy and barely noticable...or it can be a crippling, painful ordeal that isn't going to be conducive to life on the road even in good, fully funded circumstances.
And please, I'm begging you, please don't live on the road with a newborn. Taking care of a sick newborn/baby is a nightmare in familiar surroundings. I can't fathom doing it in a tent or a shabby hotel room. You and your wife can choose this suffering voluntarily - but your baby can't.
I'm sure you've heard many nay-sayers like me before. You live a life that doesn't conform, and there's much to admire in that. But parenthood changes the game, whatever game you (or anyone else) has been living, in ways you can't possibly predict or expect. Children change everything. Please be aware of that.
Absolutely Emily, we are putting the infant first in all we do, if and when he or she should come. We will not do wrong by our child, and I will not do wrong by my wife. I am also working on this project in tandem with a major publication -- more to come on that -- and my editors understand that we may need to "pause" in the event of pregnancy.
We appreciate your earnest concern. Trust us to do what is right as a family. I'm anticipating renting a cabin somewhere for a couple months at least if God should have it that we are to become parents on this journey.
Im relieved you're discerning this as a husband and potential father. I've met several people who, even married with kids, don't put in that same type of consideration.
I believe in your work and enjoy your writing immensely (especially the piece on riding Amtrak - I rode the train a few times in college to get home and have a couple stories of my own). I'm excited to see what writing will come out of this project. But I also can't help but read it as a mother.
Of course -- I am far from rankled by the concern of you and a few other readers. If anything I am heartened by it! I have also seen many parents in the world of hippies and crust punks who did not seem to understand the gravity of their role as parents and their children suffered as a result. We won't repeat the same mistakes; and so it's a balancing act between living life and knowing we'll have to slow down or stop as needed.
And I am glad that when that time comes, our readers will no doubt be understanding. Until then -- we have miles to make and I'm incredibly heartened by your faith in my work, and excited to bring you more.
I am a brand new reader here and your words and ethos are resonating well. I am amused by your devoted and concerned readers regarding birthing on the road. You didn’t ask for my advice, but here I go. ;)
Humans have been procreating for a few years now, and babies happen to join along wherever their parents go. Instincts kick in pretty solid when you don’t live in fear. Women don’t need midwives or doctors unless they want one - a father is pretty nice to help out. But, man, a baby will find it’s way out on its own terms if you let it. You seem to have a solid, thinking head on your shoulders and perhaps quite a few friends who would love to give you a room at their inn, if needed. I look forward to your project. I find countercultural thinkers refreshing.
By the way, before someone assumes I’m a flake going on about *dangerous* freebirthing…I have land, a steady income, a mortgage, and health insurance. But my more-than-a-handful of kids and I are most content on road trips, in tents, and foraging our food and medicine. Go for it, Hickman.
Hickmans mom here! I have total faith in my son and his wife to be responsible without compromising their dreams or values. They are remarkable people on a bold, audacious adventure! I’m consistently impressed with my son’s talent and vision which is why I’m also a foundational member. I can’t wait for a grandchild and I’m sure that they will be tremendous parents making all the necessary accommodations.
Thanks mom!
I'll be in town later -- finally with some cell service. I'll give you a call!
I upgraded to a paid subscription after reading this because I love your writing and value your work. So, I come as a friend and respectfully, not trying to discourage or overstep boundaries here. I understand your wife is pregnant. When I was pregnant with my first child, I was very brave and confident, and had read a lot of books about birth and newborn care, but I really had no idea of the reality of it (or actually had forgotten, but that’s a longer story). I believed for instance that everyone can breastfeed and produce milk in sufficient amounts - this is absolutely not true, many babies need formula or another woman besides their mom to nurse them, or they will die, and this problem often has to be figured out and addressed within a matter of hours. Home birthing can be beautiful but it should be done with the help of midwives and within short driving distance of an emergency room in case something goes wrong. It might sound romantic now but you do not actually want your wife to have to give birth on a greyhound bus, and she will not want to spend her postpartum weeks in a tent for that matter. Even if roughing it really is fine for you guys, remember that newborns are not tough, it is not safe for them to sleep in an irrigation ditch, and it is your job (for an honestly very brief, but intense time) to conform your lives to their needs, not the other way around. It sounds from this piece like you are expecting to have your baby on the road, and then just keep on going. That sounds completely bananas to me now, but I can see how I would’ve imagined that was doable before I had kids too. I strongly urge you to consider planning a (minimum) 6-8 break in your travel plans, where you stay in one place, sleeping indoors, ideally near people who can help you, to have your baby. (I’m sorry if I misunderstood you, and again, I apologize if this is overstepping.) I wish you the best of luck on your journey!
This times 10, except it takes more than 6-8 weeks. You do not want to screw around with the last few months of pregnancy and honestly the first 6-12 months of the baby’s life. A child and mother have to take priority over the starry-eyed dreams of the father, who will have many years to pursue those dreams when the kids are older. I honestly found this piece rather disturbing from that perspective
I'm my experience, the most important thing about having a new born baby, is the ability to breast feed.
Apart from that, keep well away from doctors and nurses.
Depending on those two, you will be fine.
I met a couple that went walkabout in Australia with their newborn for 6 months from birth. Their time was amazing.You won't regret it.
I know kids are easy to carry at that age, but that couple got lucky. The first six months is a fragile part of human life. Mortality rates for infants in their first year are higher than any other age category outside the elderly. There’s a reason why infant mortality is sky high in traditional societies.
Hello - this is the author's wife chiming in! Whatever we do concerning birth and our children is mostly going to be in accordance with my wishes. Not only am I the oldest of twelve children, I was a nanny for a few years and a companion to several friends who had all sorts of struggles from infertility to nursing difficulty and all sorts of birth stories. I'm not one of those romantics whose read a lot of birth books - I haven't read any - but who has had a lot of real life experiences that has shaped my desires and prerogatives. I understand that everything doesn't always go as planned - so we have no plans. We are simply open to life and whatever it bring, hoping and believing the best. I think this is the sort of mentality that allows couples to be lucky, as the couple in Australia was. Nevertheless, my husband is very considerate and will do as I ask him. If I say weeks before I give birth that I need to rest for awhile, he will make sure we do. If I need 6-8 weeks off after birth then we will take it. But I also know myself and my family history well. I am very much like my grandmother in all respects and suspect my birthing experiences will be similar to hers - she was the wife of a traveling evangelical preacher, and always back and on her feet within days BECAUSE she WANTED to be. She even had twins on their bus, and they didn't know there would be twins until my Grampa caught the first baby and shouted, "There's another one!!". Right now we are dreamers, but we are not naive and young.
Living Life in Love: sometimes painful, often joyous, often difficult always good.
Wow, on the bus! And Twins! That's just WOW!
I admire you for the strength of your convictions. I spent many years backing down when confronted by strongly opinionated dissenters. Godspeed to the family!
From what I have learned over the last 4 years, infant mortality is caused by vaccines, that is why I said, it's important to keep away from doctors and nurses.
My 9 month old nephew died the day after his routine vaccines. They never did find the cause even with a full autopsy.
I was raised in the west, and the high priest of modernity have pounded into my head how wonderful our industrial revolution is. Modern medicine being the pinnacle of all achievements, but I am losing the faith.
I’d love to jump in and add that the more children I have, the more I realize all baby needs is a good sling and mother’s milk. Rock on with your good selves and your highly independent way of thinking!
Yeah same. Benefit of the doubt, I think they just don’t know what they don’t know yet. But yes, if you’re going to be parents, your life is not just about you anymore.
It sounds as if the dream belongs equally to the mother. Don’t you believe in equality?
*6-8 week break
OK Hickman- it was the thought of your no-dental help that did it...as a newly paid up supporter I urge you to consider a real estate side venture. On your travels identify towns that are remote, cheap and yet liveable and crime-low. These would be ideal seed sites for remote computer based workers with families etc. they could band together for education, and seed a revival of that town without the need to commute. You team up with a real estate devleoper, renovator to publicise and sell these starter homes in these identifed new places. (Summer of Hate by Chris Kraus is a fictional example of someone who did this). Everyone wins.
Yessssss!!! This! From Alaska myself. Living in western New York... I would support this objective on principle alone. I'm writing too, and will be sharing this with everyone! I will help with the education community buzz.
You have a truly worthy project ahead of you and I wish you and your lovely new wife all the best in gathering additional paid subscribers. I will add you to my "Recommendations" list and hope that will send a few extra people along your way.
One suggestion that you might want to consider is to offer a collection of your past archived (and paywalled) essays as a printed book. This can be done quite easily via KDP publishing and no cost to you apart from your time spent formatting (alas it is Amazon but can be done by anyone and is "print as you go"). You can set the price for this book and proceeds go to you directly, rather than leaving 90% with a publisher. I know that many of your readers would appreciate a hard copy of your work. Just a thought....
Thanks for the idea, Ruth -- I definitely plan to figure this out sometime soon. Just gotta find some time!
God bless and thank you for the support. It means the world!
I think the first of these options sounds like it would be a great read. I would not, however, wish the writing of it on anyone about to begin raising a family! So Founding Membership it is, and I will spread the word. Blessings to you both.
Paul -- thank you so much for your continued support. I cannot understate what you've done for me in the past year. Blessings to you and the family; we're so looking forward to crossing paths again soon enough.
Any time. I'm glad to have met you both. And I just saw that you've been picked up by the Free Press. That's great. There's a book in your journey.
Hey Paul- we are both Hickman supporters!
I’m a paid subscriber and as such I feel empowered to tell you to get off the road and tend to your obligations as new parents for the sake of your child. The places you seek will be available to you, and unchanged, in the relatively short amount of time it will take for the baby to become road ready. You will likely reopen your odyssey the better for lack of wear and full of the unmatched perspective that
your newborn will provide.
Daniel, we are not expecting yet, so don't be worried.
Have faith in our ability to discern what is right -- we've made it this far! It's a bridge we'll cross when it comes, and you can trust that we will not do wrong by our newborn child. My wife's family had many children on the road, and as such my wife says it's not out of the question to do the same. We'll see how it goes -- I'll trust my wife's judgement on what to do.
Thank you so much for your support
I've been pregnant five times and have three living children.
If your wife does get pregnant, please be open to stopping this project for awhile and settling for a bit. Pregnancy can be easy and barely noticable...or it can be a crippling, painful ordeal that isn't going to be conducive to life on the road even in good, fully funded circumstances.
And please, I'm begging you, please don't live on the road with a newborn. Taking care of a sick newborn/baby is a nightmare in familiar surroundings. I can't fathom doing it in a tent or a shabby hotel room. You and your wife can choose this suffering voluntarily - but your baby can't.
I'm sure you've heard many nay-sayers like me before. You live a life that doesn't conform, and there's much to admire in that. But parenthood changes the game, whatever game you (or anyone else) has been living, in ways you can't possibly predict or expect. Children change everything. Please be aware of that.
Absolutely Emily, we are putting the infant first in all we do, if and when he or she should come. We will not do wrong by our child, and I will not do wrong by my wife. I am also working on this project in tandem with a major publication -- more to come on that -- and my editors understand that we may need to "pause" in the event of pregnancy.
We appreciate your earnest concern. Trust us to do what is right as a family. I'm anticipating renting a cabin somewhere for a couple months at least if God should have it that we are to become parents on this journey.
Im relieved you're discerning this as a husband and potential father. I've met several people who, even married with kids, don't put in that same type of consideration.
I believe in your work and enjoy your writing immensely (especially the piece on riding Amtrak - I rode the train a few times in college to get home and have a couple stories of my own). I'm excited to see what writing will come out of this project. But I also can't help but read it as a mother.
Of course -- I am far from rankled by the concern of you and a few other readers. If anything I am heartened by it! I have also seen many parents in the world of hippies and crust punks who did not seem to understand the gravity of their role as parents and their children suffered as a result. We won't repeat the same mistakes; and so it's a balancing act between living life and knowing we'll have to slow down or stop as needed.
And I am glad that when that time comes, our readers will no doubt be understanding. Until then -- we have miles to make and I'm incredibly heartened by your faith in my work, and excited to bring you more.
Thanks Emily,
AMH
I kinda like the idea of version one.
Maybe we can chip in if it does indeed goes so far as pine tar to fill cavities.
Can’t wait.
Decided to pony up to help the vision and enjoy the armchair experience and maybe help us Fall In Love with America again.
I’ll give you guys a bonus just for trying to do the impossible. I really want to see you guys succeed, however you define that.
Am a paid subscriber, maybe a place, a way to send some extra funds....
I signed up for a paid subscription. I hope this funds your journey.
Good luck. Curious to see where this goes.
Check out the San Juan islands in Washington state - the smaller ones that have no ferry access might be for you.